Butterboyz.net

seinfelt:

Kramer bursts through Jerry’s door, but the apartment doesn’t look anything like usual — it is a white, circular room with tall, slit-shaped windows placed regularly around the perimeter. He looks behind him and finds that the door though which he entered is not there. He tries walking forward, and although he can’t be certain, he feels as though he’s not moving around the room so much as it’s being moved underneath him like a turntable. His walking quickly turns into running. Elaine attends a pleasant brunch and, at her boyfriend’s recommendation, orders a bloody mary despite usually disliking them. To her delight, it’s delicious, and unlike any other she’s ever had. She quickly gulps it down and orders another, but her waiter apologizes, explaining, “We’ve just drained her last pint.” George rubs his eyes and notices little colors dancing in the darkness. Curious, he rubs harder and the colors become bright lights, organized in highly geometric shapes. He pushes until he finds meaning in the phosphenes, believing the geometric shapes have made way for words, full sentences, and eventually a lengthy sacred text that he commits to memory. Jerry is pleased with the zoetrope he has constructed, finally able to demonstrate that, when properly galloping, there comes a point where Kramer’s feet are entirely off the ground. He tells George to stop rubbing his eyes so he can check it out, but when George lowers his hands, his eyes are shown to have completely eroded away. He long ago reached a point where he was directly stimulating his optic nerves with his hands. “For Pete’s sake, George, you’re blind!” George turns his head directly toward Jerry, despite his hollow eye sockets, and calmly says, “No, Jerry. Now I can finally see.”

ohalrightok:

i websearch some pretty basic stuff, like yesterday i think i looked up ‘news’ and ‘macaroni’ and ‘wind’ like just to be sure i had it right all these years

u can learn impt. stuff this whey. like the greek yogurt scandal g.y.s. 4short. dont believe me?go2 yahoonews look up acid whey. shocking.

jobhaver:

weird fact: a skeleton that’s down with the clown is called a juggabone

Egglords rule everything around me.

amethystfist:

i lost the sexts that pep and i sexted each other while sitting alone in a room on the same couch ;(

one of them was definitely “blissmypits.gov” though

P: Sext

V: Sext2

P: Sext2earn.org

V: Sext3

V: SEXT4

P: Sext4me.net

V: Sext4God.gov

V: Sextblissmypits.edu

P: Blestsexts@godaddy.eu

V: SextMeMaybe?:Ok:Sext

P: Sextscramblechallenge iphone app. Unscramble my omlette ov pubes.

V: Sexting got you down? Dial 1-800-Unfreak-My-Sext

P: Usmokedthewholebongandsentmesnapchatsovyrasshole.net

V: Dick Tightman’s profile on ButterBoyz: Sext me your voicemails about your bleached asshole.

P: Do you have a special talent? Do you regularly smoke weed with your asshole? If so you may be eligible to fart it into my mouth. Parking is compensated and a small meal will be provided.

amethystfist:

four men came up to us while we were flyering and asked if we were queer, we flipped them off in unison as we walked away

(unplanned synchronized hating and chewing bubble gum are relevant hobbies/stay the fuck away from me and my friends)

dogfrequency: